she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
