i permit you to call me
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
did you just send me my own nude
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
