just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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