I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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