YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
It's no shave November. This is our time.
not ubering you a puppy
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
