I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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