i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
you inspire me to be a worse person
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Every concussion has its silver lining
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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