How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
