if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
