I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
