Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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