Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
