You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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