Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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