That's when you crack a 10am beer
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
