I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
