Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
