I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Randomize
