just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
