I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
