I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
