So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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