If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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