Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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