Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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