Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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