I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize