Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
