sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize
