Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize