I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
