i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
