dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize