Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
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