If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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