the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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