No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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