Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
