i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
