he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
