Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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