Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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