Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
We left an ass print on the piano.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
