How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize