its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
A bitchslap is in order.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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