Too much gin, very little bucket
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
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All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
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No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize