Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
we're making bets on your personal life
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
