I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize