I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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