Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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