Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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