I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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