Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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