I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
