i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
so much tequila, so little girl.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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