I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
