My boss' voice literally gives me gas
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize