Texts From Last Night

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  (+61): View more from Australia

  This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade

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  (+61): This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade http://tfl.nu/eefh
  Replies (14) Good night (6582) Bad night (812)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.

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  (912): There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up. http://tfl.nu/juwj
  Replies (25) Good night (10328) Bad night (1155)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.

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  (734): Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested. http://tfl.nu/xcij
  Replies (35) Good night (5663) Bad night (2345)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?

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  (801): two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me? http://tfl.nu/3spk
  Replies (10) Good night (1118) Bad night (4136)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed

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  (972): I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed http://tfl.nu/xlf6
  Replies (8) Good night (3901) Bad night (1184)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon

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  (773): I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon http://tfl.nu/rw5r
  Replies (10) Good night (3155) Bad night (1203)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.

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  (610): His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here. http://tfl.nu/72ey
  Replies (13) Good night (2255) Bad night (1308)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.

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  (814): You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out. http://tfl.nu/306z
  Replies (6) Good night (2517) Bad night (1459)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.

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  (204): You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/qhl9
  Replies (3) Good night (1755) Bad night (1055)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.

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  (413): Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk. http://tfl.nu/4ore
  Replies (11) Good night (1928) Bad night (643)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.

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  (909): I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit. http://tfl.nu/gsje
  Replies (5) Good night (652) Bad night (1546)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this

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  (703): So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this http://tfl.nu/pt0i
  Replies (6) Good night (1187) Bad night (564)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.

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  (314): I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move. http://tfl.nu/5xj0
  Replies (9) Good night (1074) Bad night (487)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245

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  (602): Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245 http://tfl.nu/keca
  Replies (5) Good night (431) Bad night (352)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't

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  (908): it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't http://tfl.nu/5cpt
  Replies (1) Good night (515) Bad night (239)

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