I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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