Texts From Last Night

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  (305): View more from Florida

  I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.

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  (305): I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it. http://tfl.nu/u417
  Replies (5) Good night (1874) Bad night (851)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account

  (1-216): View more from Ohio

  damn...impressive bar tab

  (216): View more from Ohio

  no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer

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  (216): when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account (1-216): damn...impressive bar tab (216): no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer http://tfl.nu/hyvf
  Replies (13) Good night (1382) Bad night (2090)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld

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  (407): You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld http://tfl.nu/gdg6
  Replies (51) Good night (3785) Bad night (590)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could

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  (973): He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could http://tfl.nu/0a7l
  Replies (36) Good night (12131) Bad night (1018)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night

  (1-940): View more from Texas

  I don't have a cat..?

  (940): View more from Texas

  Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.

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  (940): Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night (1-940): I don't have a cat..? (940): Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge. http://tfl.nu/uym0
  Replies (13) Good night (1682) Bad night (5336)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.

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  (250): Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late. http://tfl.nu/oeer
  Replies (21) Good night (1401) Bad night (4927)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?

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  (801): What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's? http://tfl.nu/1yab
  Replies (9) Good night (1957) Bad night (1260)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!

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  (920): YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN! http://tfl.nu/7v2u
  Replies (22) Good night (1520) Bad night (746)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK

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  (248): THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK http://tfl.nu/8so3
  Replies (4) Good night (1283) Bad night (660)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.

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  (404): May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks. http://tfl.nu/ar41
  Replies (4) Good night (801) Bad night (419)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe

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  (815): Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe http://tfl.nu/9pv6
  Replies (1) Good night (422) Bad night (388)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar

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  (775): Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar http://tfl.nu/pwk7
  Replies (3) Good night (288) Bad night (572)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"

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  (972): He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?" http://tfl.nu/pqbh
  Replies (4) Good night (342) Bad night (821)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?

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  (715): Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night? http://tfl.nu/fn24
  Replies (1) Good night (307) Bad night (524)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.

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  (613): We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor. http://tfl.nu/xkiw
  Replies (0) Good night (409) Bad night (201)

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