Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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