Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your dick twin last night
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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