Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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