I want you more than these girls want KFC
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
