That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
